I am pleased to announce the publication of my new book. It is a memoir titled Neither Here Nor There that is now available as a Kindle edition on Amazon.com at a discounted price for a limited time under their special promotion schedule. It is now my third book on Amazon. I have been writing, re-writing, editing, and proofreading the manuscript for a year, and I recently hired a designer for the cover, someone to check the formatting, and someone else to upload it to Amazon.com for a minimal charge. If you are a writer interested in e-pubs, I would be happy to provide referrals.
It is a memoir of a 7-decade struggle against guilt and fear to accept myself as both gay and as a Christian. It was a long journey with numerous detours and dead-ends, but in the end I gained some insight of what it means to be fully human and willing to take risks.
From the introduction:
Everyone has a story. Some are more interesting than others. Some are tragic, and others seem charmed. My story is not unique. Many homosexuals have struggled with their identity with varying degrees of success and acceptance. The cultural traditions and social mores of American society make that difficult, particularly when those who would use the Bible as a weapon rather than a guide weigh in. My conflict has never been fully reconciled although I came to rid myself of my internalized homophobia and came to know a richer and deeper faith in my slow steps to become a better Christian.
Because of the American preoccupation with sex as evidenced by our advertising, our movies, and the media, gays have become fashionable with the avant garde. But we are still harassed, ridiculed, and murdered as a detested minority. We have come a long way in the past 50 years since I was a teenager, but we still have a long way to go. Gay marriage is at the forefront of political debates now, but the basic civil rights of a job and housing for us are still unresolved so the priorities seem distorted to me.
Perhaps it was the result of the frustration, fear, and sometimes sense of hopelessness akin to war that caused me also to be preoccupied with sex for a big portion of my life. Love, acceptance, social standing, and welcoming into the church seemed impossible so the answer to loneliness was desperation. I’m not as fatalistic now even though I have grown old and alone. I’m a survivor while many of my friends are long since gone. I have come to accept myself the way I was born, and others have come to accept me as I am.
If you’re looking for graphic sex, you will be disappointed even though I recount many of my adventures and experiences with my two partners. I am an incurable romantic at heart, and my journey was focused on looking for “Mr. Right” with all of the naiveté that implies. We live in a different world in America now in comparison with when I was growing up, and gays and lesbians are more accepted and acceptable and have a lot more options than I did. In some ways this is more of a history of the LGBT movement than just a personal story, but it is one example and I tell it the way I lived it, and I don’t leave out any secrets.